Digging Deep – The reason this blog exists

deborah-tindle-92

I have spent years chasing my dreams. I get so close, try to grab them and hold on as tight as I can, but worry that those dreams and accomplishments will soon be stripped away again. For those of you who know me, this may be old news. But, for those who have stumbled upon this blog accidentally or unintentionally…

Here is the background:

Wind back the clock, I am 18, naive, careless, free-spirited, fun loving and honestly a wild child. Then….*BAM*…I wake up one day and my life completely changes. I am pregnant. What the heck am I going to do? I am a baby myself. My.Life.Is.Over. Little did I know that this life changing moment would be one of the very best things that every happened to me. I grew up over night, worked two jobs and prepared myself for the birth of my son Scott. His father and I didn’t work out (imagine that), but as soon as my Scotty baby was born, I had a new love of my life. He gave me strength to work harder, conviction, moral compass, grounding and LOVE. So much love. What I feared the most became my saving grace.

Fast forward,

Scott is a year and a half old and I met someone. Scary. How do I bring my child around the person? How do I let the little love of my life meet someone who will compete for my attention? Well, I took a leap of faith and when Scott was three, I married. Two years later, my twin boys Hunter and Gabriel were born. Amazing does not even explain the experience of having two babies at once. They were the cutest, spunkiest, smartest, funniest and sweetest little blessings. Scott was an amazing big brother. Two years later comes little Hannah Banana. I finally had my little girl. She was the most beautiful little girl I had ever laid eyes on. My family was complete. I had it all right? The house, the picket fence, my sweet little family. What is missing here? My marriage was a mess. As many moms do, I threw every waking moment of energy into my children. I loved them more than life. I cherished every moment like it was the last. My marriage crumbled around me. I will spare you the details of why that happened and what all was involved (it’s not a pretty story)…

But, fast forward again.

15 years of marriage (actually about 10, the last 5 were far from a marriage) and I was a divorced mother of four. The turn of events left me broke, broken and empty. I threw myself into my jewelry business. I opened my store every day and put a fake smile on my face. I helped customers, listened to their stories, acted as their sounding boards, congratulated them on their successes, helped them with their wants and needs and slowly died inside. The happiness, love and success around me was a constant reminder of how crappy I thought my life was. I decided that the answer to my problems was to hide them, numb them, disguise them and run from them. On weekends when the children were with my ex-husband, my time was spent in a bar, getting drunk. Yes DRUNK. Making bad decisions that hurt my health and wellness both mentally and physically. My dear friend Kayla Matthews is the only reason I survived this dark period of my life. She lifted me when my spirits were low, she encouraged me, she helped with my children and helped my mind. So, now that you are depressed and wondering how in the world this is supposed to be uplifting or inspirational…

Here is where the awesome comes in!

One night while sitting in one of those bars, a man came in. An extremely handsome man with the best smile I had ever seen. He ventured in with his cousin Tucker Moore, who was a dear friend of mine. He sat at my booth and proceeded to spend four hours talking to me and sharing stories. The conversation was so great that I stopped ordering drinks and completely got lost in him. Matty. Matty. 10 days later this man said, “let’s get married” on my back porch. HAHAHA!!!! I thought he had lost his ever-lovin mind. I have four kids, a mountain of debt, a full time business that I am already married to, and most of all……I am damaged goods. Well, call me crazy but I said OK. Ok…haaha.. Sounds like I was real excited. But inside, I was busting at the seams. I knew this man was amazing. I knew this man had a huge heart. I knew this man intended to take care of me and my children and I knew that in ten days I had fallen completely in love with him. I said yes. Life Began. Here I am, October 18th will be our sixth wedding anniversary and in September, our handsome little boy, Maddox, will turn four. Five kids, happily married, and completely transformed. But, that wasn’t the story two years ago. What possibly could still be missing back then?

The answer?

ME. My health, my wellness, my energy, my get-up-and-go and my relationship with GOD. Having kids that at the time that were 20, 16, 16, 13 and 1, a full time business, a husband that managed several seriously busy restaurants and all that goes along with those responsibilities was draining the life out of me. Instead of being grateful for the hour I spent in the car each day with my children telling the stories of school, friends, girlfriends, sports, etc…I was feeling bad for myself because I had to wake up at 5AM. Instead of enjoying cooking dinner with my sweet daughter’s help while she told me of her awesome adventures and stories of friendship, I was feeling sorry for myself because after working all day, I had to come home to cook a big dinner for my family. On my only day off with my husband and kids, instead of cherishing every second, I was too busy thinking about all the things that I had to do at work the next day, the grocery trip I needed to make, the bill I need to pay and the fact that my only day off would be over before I knew it. Golly, I was a depressing girl. I can’t even tell you how many times my Matty asked me what was wrong with me and I just said, nothing. Pshhhhh NOTHING. I was a walking emotional basket case. My health sucked. I had chronic headaches and pain from my lupus and ZERO energy or desire to get healthy, work out, cherish my life, love on my husband or show my kids how much I enjoyed every single thing about them.

Then one night…

I got a message from that dear friend and rock of mine, Kayla Matthews. She said…hey girl, I am going to do a 24 day challenge to get healthy and lose weight. Want to do it with me? After some hesitation, I agreed. Let me tell you, once again this girl changed my life. I completed the challenge, changed my way of cooking, dropped 16 pounds and over 20 inches, started running and working out again and FOUND MYSELF. Me. I was back. Beyond the weight loss (even though a wearing a size two does worlds of good for a girls confidence), the change in me mentally was truly one of the biggest gifts I had ever been given. I have clarity, focus, energy (thank you SPARK!) and purpose. My lupus is under control and my body has the supplemental armor to fight the war of auto-immune disease. I have not had a headache in two years, my aches and pains are gone. And, I am no longer unhappy, miserable, feeling sorry for myself and less than what I should be for my Husband and Children. I am ME. The ME I always wanted to be. This program not only changed my life, it saved my life. ME.

Fast forward…

It’s two years later. I am so passionate about what Advocare has done in my life both physically and financially. My husband and I have spent the past two years helping others get the results we have. We have dug our heals in and found not only the answer to our health problems but the answer to our time debt, financial debt and constant stress. We have rebuilt our relationship with each other and strengthened our faith. This opportunity is like no other. We now have hope for the future, we are building our legacy and we are leaving an impact on our children and so many other families. All I can say is that we are so incredibly blessed.

deep waters
If you made it through this book, I so appreciate you. It was personal, hard to write and exposed me more than I thought I would be willing to do. Thank you for supporting me. I hope to change the lives of my friends and family and their friends and family and then their friends and family. This is what I have been searching for and it would selfish of me not to share it with every single person I love.

Alece

me fb

13 thoughts on “Digging Deep – The reason this blog exists

  1. Thank you. Most days I feel the same way. I’m ALWAYS tired, which keeps me from being the person I WANT to be. I want to be a better mother, wife and friend to the people I love. Thank you for bearing yourself and letting me know I’m not the only one.

    Like

  2. I was thrilled to read this.It shows me that if I could afford this plan , I sure would do it in a heart beat. love you Alece, my dear niece

    Like

  3. Alece, thank you so much for sharing. Makes me feel a bit more normal;)
    I have lost 15 pounds and 16 1/2 inches since the middle of January. I feel better than I have in a long time. I still have a ways to go but I’m in it for the long haul. I love this quote “don’t give up what you want most for what you want now”.

    Like

  4. I absolutely love your nakedness and complete honestly. Thanks for sharing! Far too often, we mask our pain and troubles behind food and alcohol! I was in a dark place myself a few years ago. I have just started to focus on myself and getting back to being happy. Sometimes we forget to look after ourselves when we have families. Its OK to be selfish sometimes. Your story touched me. My coworker introduced me to Advocare, I’m on day two. 🙂 I can’t wait to see where it takes me. Have a great day!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s